A Man's Guide to Buying Lingerie

Buying underwear for your other half is supposed to be a sign of how attractive you consider her to be, but rather too often the unwrapping of the lingerie present ends up in a fight rather than the intended night of passion.

Let's be honest, men bring it on themselves. So, here is a man's guide to how to buy lingerie sensibly, which should make both your lives better and mean you actually both enjoy the lingerie you purchase.

1. Buy for her, not for yourself. By which we mean, put yourself in her shoes (bra even?), and truly think about what she might by for herself, and then try and find something that you like but which is "her". You might be hankering after that leather Catwoman outfit, but unless you've discussed it with her and she's shown more than keen, it's unlikely to end well.
2. If this is the first time you've bought her lingerie, play it safe. There's plenty of time to raise the temperature later, but if this the first thing you've bought, a boned corset might raise the eyebrows.
   
   Babydolls (negligees) are a good starting place, or some boyshort knickers - there are plenty of these that are very attractive and going straight in with a thong (unless that's all she wears) might just elicit a sigh, rather than a moan. Likewise, there are now suspender tights that are integrated stockings and suspender belts, so are actually rather convenient to wear, as opposed to full on stockings and suspenders, yet they are still much more alluring than tights or pantyhose.
3. Use common sense - this is really a combination of 1 and 2. If you're wavering or uncertain when you hover over Add to Basket, then it's probably a bad idea.
4. Ask - any good store or website will be happy to reply with advice if you tell them what you are looking for.
5. Get the right size! Unless you are Joey from Friends, you're unlikely to guess correctly, and mis-fitting underwear is not a great present. Take a surreptitious look in her lingerie drawer and find her bra size (make sure it's a bra that's in regular rotation now, or the reason it's not worn might be because it doesn't fit).
6. If you can't find her size, then you could make the purchasing a joint adventure. We've written a guide to getting the right fit for lingerie. Then sit down and browse together.

There are plenty of places to buy lingerie, but in recent years a lot of very high class boutique lingerie has become available, and this doesn't tend to be available in the high street or shopping mall. Finding something from one of these places may bit a little more expensive, but you are buying quality, and it shows that there has been real thought behind the gift.

Agent Provocateur is one place you can go to buy something very special, not that there's anything wrong with Victoria's Secret. One of the good things about Agent Provocateur is that it does have stores and a web presence in Europe, the UK and the USA, but worldwide there are plenty of other smaller lingerie retailers selling boutique lingerie. A few seconds on Google should help you out.

Most of those retailers though stop their sizing at quite small, but help is at hand. There is also plenty of attractive extra large sexy underwear available now. BigSmalls is a UK specialist retailer for plus size lingerie, while in the USA, you can try the plus section of Hips & Curves.

Best of luck, and remember if you buy something she actually likes, there's a better chance that she will wear it, which means you will get to see it more often. There's no better incentive than that!